Are You

Are You "Should-ing" Yourself?

Leadership | Posted by - January 13, 2014 at 12:00 am

You have a busy life and we all have a tendency to fall into a routine. Your routine has you operating in a trance-like state, doing things out of habit and because you should.

You go through the motions without any thought to who you are, how you want to be known, or where you are going.

It is essential as a leader to take the time to clearly understand yourself and what you want. If you don’t, it is so easy to be distracted by all the noise around you. Without clarity, you tend to measure yourself against what everyone else is doing and not what is important for you to be doing. Without clarity, you fall into the trap of being who you think you should be instead of being who you are.

Know how you want to be known by your audience and be that person.

“Should-ing” is when you act a certain way instead of being yourself; it feels more like meeting a social standard rather than living by your own. “Should-ing” robs you of what is unique about you and forces you to fit in instead of standing out for who you are.

I have observed that when my clients are “should-ing”, they become less effective and struggle to achieve the success they desire. They feel like something is holding them back. A good strategy to break through the “should-ing” is to understand who you are.

Ask yourself: You need to decide who you are and how you want to be described or known as a leader. You need to decide what is important to you and how to demonstrate that as a leader. How do I need to communicate the look and language of my brand to express my difference?

Be who you are. Know how you want to be known by your audience and be that person. Know what is important to you and focus on that. Clarity quiets the noise of “should-ing”. When you stop “should-ing” and start being, your confidence will skyrocket along with your success.

* * *

Do you recognize yourself as a ‘should-er’? Not sure what to do to break the cycle? Ask Dorothy .

Tags: communication, habits, leadership, routine, self-reflection, health

Dorothy Lazovik
Dorothy Lazovik works with leaders to break out of who they think they should be and excel at being themselves. She believes we all have control of who we are and we are given the opportunity to choose in every moment of every day who that is. As a personal brand success strategist, she teaches leaders the most direct path to developing an authentic brand that leverages their natural talents by providing strategies to accelerate their success. To learn more about Dorothy go to
Peter Piekny
January 13, 2014 at 7:26 pm
Nicely put together, Dorothy
Dorothy Lazovik
January 13, 2014 at 10:59 pm
Thank you Peter!
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