It's normal to doubt ourselves sometimes, but that doesn't mean you can't regain the confidence to achieve what you want. "A confident person is someone who is willing to try," says Mel Robbins, a motivational speaker and author of The 5 Second Rule. "It's the entry-level employee, who feels nervous but speaks up in a meeting with executives, when she believes there is a better way to do things. It's the introvert who steps outside his comfort zone and starts a conversation. It's the new mom, who feels self-conscious but invites a group of friends over, despite the pile of laundry stuffed in the corner."
To gain confidence in a decision you want to make or something you want to communicate, you'll need to be willing to put yourself out there, urges Robbins. "Confidence is built by the smallest actions, to move forward, despite the feelings and fears that rise up." Here are two techniques to build confidence:
IF YOU'RE ABOUT TO MAKE AN EXCUSE
It's easy to make excuses for why we don't want to do something. So, when you begin to feel the familiar resistance that comes when it's time to act, Robbins encourages, "catch that excuse and count back, 5-4-3-2-1. That takes you out of the autopilot part of your brain and into the prefrontal cortex--the rational part of our brains," explains Robbins. "Then take immediate action. There's a small window in which the brain will be open to taking action before resistance creeps in again and stops you, so move." In the name of her book and this technique, Robbins says, "...it's about five seconds."
IF YOU'RE DOUBTING YOURSELF
People can seem confident in what they're doing, but it doesn't mean they actually know what they're doing. As Robbins explains, "the mistake everyone makes is thinking you have to feel confidence before you act." Robbins encourages us to realize and remember, "Confidence does not begin with a belief in self. When you realize that you can doubt yourself, and still choose to try, you will know the secret to confidence." So in these moments, go back to action, and start with the smallest step you can take, because as Robbins says, "every time you choose to act, you see yourself beating your excuses."
The more action you take, the more possibility you'll feel in yourself. As Robbins recently posted on Instagram, "when you push yourself to start, it's amazing how many happy accidents happen." Take your first step today.